The Onion on Bob Marley

Bob Marley Rises From Grave To Free Frat Boys From Bonds Of Oppression

Minutes after his resurrection, the dreadlocked spirit materialized in the backyard of Epsilon Iota, the Sigma Nu chapter of the College of William and Mary in Virginia. Radiating a transcendent aura, Marley addressed the college’s recent campus-wide ban on bonfires.

“I appeared to I fraternity brothers to tell them be strong,” said Marley, standing in front of hundreds of hooting fraternity members. “I say don’t let dean of students, Henry Riegert, fool ya, or even try to school ya. We’ll get that bonfire going in time for da mixer, mon. A fire a man’s own business.”

It’s just pure genius, folks…