One part insufferable brand-event, one part mind-blowing musical pilgrimage – the intricacies of a successful Coachella run dark and deep.

When you’re like me and you’ve gone to your fair share of these multi-day events, specially this big thing out in the desert / polo fields of Indio, you’ve gotten pretty confident with the amount of knowledge you’ve collected along the way. For instance, this one holds true consistently year over year: water is God, and no, Daft Punk won’t be there.

Many of these lessons I have learned via trial and tribulation, and it’s high time I shared these tips with the world. To make sure you don’t have to learn everything the hard way like I did, we’ve gathered the below for you to use as your digital spirit guide to help you own this festival like the gypsies you hope to become. Follow along…

50 Pro Tips On How To Do Coachella

1. First off…do your homework and stick to a plan. Know who you want to see and where they are. Know the overlaps. Study the festival schedule like crazy when it drops.

2. Factor in travel time between stages. It takes 15-20 minutes to navigate the masses in between the stages. Sacrifices will have to be made, and you need to make your peace with that early.


3. Camp. It’s cheaper and easier. You can still go to all the pool parties, you can still shower, but you don’t have to sacrifice eight paychecks, your first-born child and your dignity for a mediocre condo 45 minutes away from the venue.

4. If you absolutely insist on not camping, DO NOT wait until 4:00pm to try and call an Uber because IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. Or it will, but with 7.5x surge pricing.

5. Don’t make a goal of not eating all day…I know you want to look as skinny as possible but you will pass out and die and then you will most likely miss the headliner you wanted to see.

6. Start your day with some fruit. It gives you vitamins and energies and you’ll feel like a superhero ready to take on the next day.

7. Invest in a sneaky flask-type-option. This wine bra is your best friend.

8. These hidden-alcohol / sunscreen tubes are awesome too.

9. Always rely on Spicy Pie Pizza. They will never let you down. Ever.

10. Drink a bottle of water right when you wake up in the morning and right before you go to sleep because dehydration is NOT chic.

Keep reading for 11-20…