Are You An Adult? This Festival Crew Could Use Your Help

Festival season is in full swing with Bonnaroo now finished up and many other summer festivals gearing up to celebrate their 2015 with their respective audiences. Looks like What The Festival in Oregon is coming up this weekend, and there’s a new way to experience this festival as well as contribute to the community: Be An Honorary Adult for This Crew.

In a Craigslist post entitled “Seeking 1 Adult for What the Festival,” all the job requirements have been laid out for you:

Responsibilities will include all but not limited to:

– Making sure we do not drown in the splash pool
– Providing us water/monitoring water levels/refilling water bottles
– Asking us if we have eaten today (3-4 times per day)
– Making sure we don’t forget our headlamps when traversing the Illuminated Forest by nightfall.
– Keeping a keen eye on skin redness and suggesting a new layer of sunscreen (1-7 times during daylight depending on skin tone)
– Following closely behind us to monitor and secure any potential items that should drop from our person
– Tucking us into our sleeping bags/hammocks at nap time
– Managing a headcount each morning and potentially implementing a buddy system/assigning us to “buddies”
– If anyone is seen not smiling, you will deliver immediate motivational speech with subtle tones of judgmental advice on how to “just be better” (not required but highly encouraged).

Salary: Hugs; great karma; personal references from 20-60 people who need adults.

The post ends with a call to send a resume *with* cover letter on why you’re the perfect adult for this squad. Don’t pass on this; everyone could use some great karma and some hugs this summer.